Nightmare Finger Cactus Wants Me Dead

imageWhen you marry someone, you also marry everything they love.  Therefore, I am wed to a nightmare finger cactus.  His name is Henry II because, I suppose, the first Henry was mistakingly placed in front of a mirror and decided to take himself out.

My husband always remembers to water Henry II despite my best efforts to hide the thing behind curtains and tchotchkes.  I guess having it around would be alright if it were an ugly statuette or an ugly lamp, but the thing is alive.  It’s also growing.  Those long, saggy digits are staring to curl over the window seat.  At any moment, this “plant” will break out into the reprise of “Suppertime” from Little Shop of Horrors.  Then it will flip upside down and scratch across the floorboards.  I’ll chase it around the house with a broom, trying to keep it away from the knives until my husband comes home at which point Henry will jump back in the window, and we’ll resume our staring contest.

Has anything leaked into your life that you’d love to drop kick out your door?  If so sound off below!

Michelle Joyce Bond


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